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Archive for January, 2013

Parenting Tips About Children Following Rules

By Bob Lancer   |  Monday, January 14th, 2013

It’s important for us to guide children to follow rules.

 

Unruly Child Behavior

We cannot allow our children to display disrespectful, inconsiderate, or self-centered behavior past a certain point.

The child who slips into unruly behavior on a routine basis forms disorderly behavior habits that produce problems in school.

 

Unruly behavior translates into a child who oversteps bounds in relationships, which causes problems for the child socially.  For instance, kind and caring children will avoid the child who routinely acts too wildly and treats them insensitively.

 

If the unruly child behavior pattern continues for too long, it turns into a serious character weakness in adulthood, limiting the individual’s ability to support himself/herself, making that individual overly dependent upon others rather than becoming a contributing member of society.

 

In the extreme, unruliness child behavior patterns that go unchecked can descend into criminality.

 

Helping our children to respect and follow rules, therefore, is crucial for helping them to lead successful lives of contribution, to enjoy close relationships with wonderful people, and to avoid becoming a burden to society.

 

However, there are times when there is something more important to a child’s well-being and to child development than being forced to follow rules.

 

Sometimes we need to cut the child some slack, allow for some unruliness, to permit the child freedom in honor of the child’s sacred, loving heart.

 

Create Happy Children

The best way to make children good is to make them happy. ~ Oscar Wilde

Children, like adults, need to feel basically good inside to do their best.  The adult who just does what is expected – or what he believes is expected – without regard to how he feels, turns out to be an unhappy person no matter how many symbols of success he achieves.

 

There are limits to everything, including how much we really need to conform to rules.  We not only need to respect boundaries – we also need to feel free, to be a little silly, to be a little daring JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT – and so do our children.

 

Of course we need to keep unruliness within bounds to some degree.  We cannot allow our children to display disrespectful, inconsiderate, or self-centered behavior past a certain point.  We cannot passively abide displays of cruelty or senseless destruction to property.

 

But we DO need to recognize, through alert and deep attentiveness to the child’s feelings in the now, when to stop harping on following rules and allow the child to be free enough to delight in the joy of childhood.

 

The fact is that happy children tend to demonstrate more considerate and responsible behavior than unhappy children.

 

Raising Children During Divorce

By Noah Brown   |  Saturday, January 12th, 2013

Raising children is a tough job in and of itself, but when the parents are going through a divorce this important job seems to become even harder. The parents understand why they both need and want to live separate lives but it is very difficult for a child to understand.
 
Kids tend to blame themselves when their parents split up. They feel unstable and confused as well. Divorce is stressful for kids too. You can use this help for parents advice to ensure that you are being a parent who is truly caring for your child’s psyche throughout the divorce.
 
Honesty Is the Best Policy
 
To an extent, you should be very honest with your kids about the divorce. Of course, they do not need details ofa sordid affair or addiction problem. Honesty is important while inspiring children to learn positive values.

Raising Children During Divorce

Being a parent, you will need to make the changes as easy on your kids as possible


 
Being a parent, you will need to make the changes as easy on your kids as possible
 
The easiest way to explain the impending divorce is by telling the kids that you and your spouse simply cannot live together anymore. You always must make them understand that they had nothing to do with your marital problems. They need to know that you both love them now and will always love them.
 
Never tell them that you no longer love your spouse. This will make the children believe that you could stop loving them as well. This is never a good thing and could spoil child parent relationships.
 
Change Can Be Scary
 
Everyone who has been raising children understands that change can be quite difficult for some children. Many kids get stressed out moving to a new classroom for a higher grade level so the change resulting from a divorce can be overwhelming.
 
Being a parent, you will need to make the changes as easy on your kids as possible You should consult your pediatrician and inform him of the divorce and your concerns for its effect on your kids. He will be able to offer some great help for parents’ information that will make the divorce more understandable for your kids. It is possible that he recommends you to take your children to a parenting counselor.
 
Prevent Possible Problems
 
Kids who are dealing with divorce often begin to have problems in school. Quite a few articles offering help for parents going through a divorce advice believe that the child’s teacher should be informed of the family situation. This knowledge will allow the teacher to watch for and understand any abnormal behavior and avert problems.
 
Your child’s guidance counselor may also be able to offer some parenting help as he has certainly dealt with many kids who have gone through stressful divorces
 
No Badmouthing Allowed
 
Just because you are raising children during this trying time does not give you the right to talk badly about their other parent. This behavior simply adds more stress for the child and makes him feel like he is being pulled apart. Remember, he loves both of you and if you badmouth your former spouse, the child will always resent you.
 
Still Two Parents
 
Even during a divorce, both of you are obligated to fulfill your duties of being a parent. The task of raising children belongs to both mother and father. The custodial parent should never disallow the other parent opportunities to maintain a close relationship with each other.
 
Authorities on raising children during divorce state that parents who deny their children access to the other will eventually be alienated by the kids later in life. It is healthy for the kids to grow up with two parents, even if they live separate lives.

Conquering Toddler Fears

By Guest Author   |  Thursday, January 3rd, 2013
wisdom in children for overcoming fear

The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.
~ H. P. Lovecraft

If your normally easy-going child seems suddenly afraid of everything and clingy, you’re not alone.

 

As babies begin to transition from infant to toddler, fear blossoms almost as quickly as they seem to be growing.

While it may take you by surprise, the reality is that these fears, whether they’re concerns about the dark, monsters under the bed, or something completely rational, put your child on the normal track to development.

The key is learning how to deal with those fears. These tips may help.

Figure Out What May Be Causing the Fears

If you understand what is causing the fears, it’s possible you can help your child overcome them.

Think carefully about what’s going on in your toddler’s life at the moment. Is there a new teacher in his or her daycare? Has the routine changed significantly in recent days?

If there’s something that has created stress in your child’s life, that can lead to both rational and irrational fears.

Big events like falling in the water or even seeing a small fire in the kitchen could also create a very real sense of instability in your child’s life and lead to a variety of fears.

Acknowledge Your Child’s Feelings

The idea that there might be a monster under your child’s bed may seem nothing short of ridiculous to you, but to your child, it’s a serious source of concern.

Downplaying or ignoring your child’s fears could be damaging to his emotional development. Make certain you validate those feelings while still helping your child work to overcome them.

Reassurance is a Must

Once you understand exactly what your child is afraid of, you need to work to let them know that everything will be okay. Cuddle with your little one to help him feel a bit better.

Remember, also, that you shouldn’t just pay attention to your child when those fears come into play.

Stay interested in the happy moods too, or you risk making the fears bigger and more dramatic than they actually are.

Overreacting Only Makes Things Worse

Becoming overprotective of your child as a result of those fears can make things quite a bit worse.

You can’t simply let your child avoid all of the things that may worry him, but you also shouldn’t force him into every unfamiliar or uncomfortable situation. Work together to overcome the fear and offer support without hitting “Momzilla” mode.

Patience Is a Must

You may think up the single most creative solution in the world to your child’s problem, but it’s important to remember that his fears are completely normal, and they will fade at some point.

They just may not fade on your schedule. Don’t get frustrated with your child. Instead, be patient as he works to overcome his issues.

Children, and toddlers especially, are very good at taking cues from their parents.

The way you react to your own fears and concerns helps to guide their development.

 

Teaching confidence at every opportunity can help the two of you get past the fear stage.

 

Heather Nosworth is a writer with a passion for children and parenting. She regularly contributes to the Parenting & New Baby Advice Blog, where you can find more parenting articles along with unique baby gifts and gift ideas.

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