Itâ€™s important for us to guide children to follow rules.
The child who slips into unruly behavior on a routine basis forms disorderly behavior habits that produce problems in school.
Unruly behavior translates into a child who oversteps bounds in relationships, which causes problems for the child socially.Â For instance, kind and caring children will avoid the child who routinely acts too wildly and treats them insensitively.
If the unruly child behavior pattern continues for too long, it turns into a serious character weakness in adulthood, limiting the individualâ€™s ability to support himself/herself, making that individual overly dependent upon others rather than becoming a contributing member of society.
In the extreme, unruliness child behavior patterns that go unchecked can descend into criminality.
Helping our children to respect and follow rules, therefore, is crucial for helping them to lead successful lives of contribution, to enjoy close relationships with wonderful people, and to avoid becoming a burden to society.
However, there are times when there is something more important to a childâ€™s well-being and to child development than being forced to follow rules.
Sometimes we need to cut the child some slack, allow for some unruliness, to permit the child freedom in honor of the childâ€™s sacred, loving heart.
Children, like adults, need to feel basically good inside to do their best.Â The adult who just does what is expected â€“ or what he believes is expected â€“ without regard to how he feels, turns out to be an unhappy person no matter how many symbols of success he achieves.
There are limits to everything, including how much we really need to conform to rules.Â We not only need to respect boundaries â€“ we also need to feel free, to be a little silly, to be a little daring JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT â€“ and so do our children.
Of course we need to keep unruliness within bounds to some degree.Â We cannot allow our children to display disrespectful, inconsiderate, or self-centered behavior past a certain point.Â We cannot passively abide displays of cruelty or senseless destruction to property.
But we DO need to recognize, through alert and deep attentiveness to the childâ€™s feelings in the now, when to stop harping on following rules and allow the child to be free enough to delight in the joy of childhood.
The fact is that happy children tend to demonstrate more considerate and responsible behavior than unhappy children.