What if you were achieving exactly the same level of cooperation from your children, but you achieved this level with 90% LESS stress, strain, frustration, overwhelm and anger?
For instance, what if you continued to get your kids to bed as late as thatâ€™s been happening, but you accomplished this WITHOUT feeling frustrated, unhappy or impatient?
What if your childâ€™s behavior at mealtime did not improve, but you were able to maintain your peace and poise, able to feel calm, confident and secure?
What if your kids continued to squabble as much as they do, but you did not get drawn into feelings of anger, helplessness or overwhelm?
What if you did not improve your childâ€™s cooperation during homework time, during the morning routine, or when you need to transition him from one location to another, BUT YOU MANAGED THE SITUATION WITHOUT FEELING NERVOUS, UPTIGHT OR ANNOYED?
Obviously, improving your EXPERIENCE of what happens represents SOME degree of improvement in your relationship with your child.
The fact is that improving THE QUALITY of our responses is the first step to improving our results.
How you react to child behavior is a way that you treat yourself in response to that behavior.
We can only improve child behavior one step at a time. The first step is improving our way of going through the condition.
Reducing our stress, increasing our confidence, bringing more joy from within into the experience is a step in the right direction.
From there, you will find opportunities for leading your child into improved behavior.
What is being suggested here is not an apathetic, passive approach to parenting. Do everything you can to ensure that your child behaves well. But the change that is being suggested here is to do it CALMLY, to work on doing your best to control the situation WITHOUT anger or stress.
This simple shift has worked miracles in many parent-child relationships. Try it out and let us know how it works for YOU.