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Archive for March, 2013

Parenting Help: Childhood Needs to be Nurtured

By Marilyn Cramer   |  Thursday, March 28th, 2013

“There was no need for a term like ‘magical thinking’ in the Golden Age of Man…there was only genuine everyday magic and mysticism. Children were not mocked or scolded in those days for singing to the rain or talking to the wind.”
― Anthon St. Maarten

Children dream with their eyes open

Parenting Tips: There are a million dreams in a child’s eyes. Nurture them with your love.

 

 

 

Parenting Advice: Don't let your child's innocence lost in your aspirations.

“You have to love your children unselfishly. That is hard. But it is the only way.”
~ Barbara Bush

Improve Your Parent Behavior For Child Behavior Improvement

By Bob Lancer   |  Tuesday, March 26th, 2013

Child behavior improvement often requires parent behavior improvement first.

 

When scolding your child, what are you telling him about himself?

 

Parenting Quotes Help

At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent. ~ Barbara Bush

Do you call him a lackadaisical dreamer, dishonest, responsible, lazy?

 

On a subconscious level the child believes what we tell him about himself and that programs him to live consistently with that belief.

 

Telling a child that she’s acting like a baby, that she is always looking for the easy way out, that she is content to do the least possible in school, that she’s a show-off gives that child’s subconscious a negative message that undermines the child’s ability.

 

Calling a child sloppy, telling him he never listens, complaining that he is being difficult, uncooperative, self-centered, overly demanding is like calling FOR more of that undesirable behavior.

 

When we become frustrated with our children it is really not their fault.  We are coming to the end of our patience, but that’s no excuse for projecting negative influences upon them.

 

In parenting, we need to be present, to avoid focusing so much on making our children “right” that we overlook how “wrongly” we are going about it.

 

When we parents catch ourselves in the act of projecting our own negativity onto the child, we can redirect our attention to ourselves, recognize any mistakes we are making, and begin correcting our own behavior then and there.

 

The next time you hear yourself complaining to your child, calling him stupid, unfocused, unreliable, unkind, thoughtless or “a downer”, focus on improving your own behavior in the present moment.

 

When you see how you are mishandling the situation you can begin handling the situation better, and produce better results.

 

Remain self-aware to recognize your need for improved SELF discipline in your efforts to get your child to be more disciplined.

 

Concentrate on improving your handling of your child’s behavior and you will find yourself being more successful in your efforts to bring out better behavior from your child.

 

Really face the ways that you want to improve your responses to your child, your way of speaking with her, your way of attempting to correct, control and improve her character, attitude and actions.

 

As we honestly work on improving our ways of parenting, we raise our child more effectively and enjoy a happier, better behaving child AND adult.

 

Let’s practice being more self-aware in our parenting to recognize when we need to improve our parent behavior for child behavior improvement.

A Parenting Solution For The Demanding Child

By Bob Lancer   |  Tuesday, March 26th, 2013

When do you become flustered with your children?

 

It probably happens when you feel yourself barraged by unreasonable, self-centered demands.

 

Motivational Parenting Quotes

There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child. ~
Henry Ward Beecher

You come home from work.  And immediately you are being begged to do this or that.

 

You might try to accommodate your child, but that’s not enough.  The begging child demands that you do more, do something differently than you did it.

 

The child demands to be pleased, and you find yourself feeling strained in your attempt to please.  You see no way to please, and YOU feel VERY DISPLEASED.

 

To begin solving this parenting problem, approach it as an opportunity for your growth rather than an opportunity to blame or resent your child for being so difficult, demanding and self-centered.

 

From the “how can I grow” perspective you can then examine your way of dealing with the situation and find better options.

 

From the “blame” perspective, parents focus on how the child is behaving wrongly, overlooking how wrongly they are dealing with it.

 

When we parents begin feeling frustrated, flustered, stressed out in reaction to child behavior, our child is not making that happen.  Our way of reacting is making it happen.  This is a crucial distinction!

 

It’s all too common, when parents feel frustrated by an incessantly demanding child, the parents explode in a rage.

 

But if you really look at this reaction, it characterizes the exact opposite of what the parent really wants.

 

It takes the parent from the unpleasantness of frustration into the more extremely unpleasant state of rage. So, obviously, rage is an inadequate strategy for improving how you feel.

 

This points to the next stage of the parenting solution for the demanding child.  Consider how you want to feel and determine to feel that way despite your child’s demands.

 

Concentrate on maintaining your peace and poise.  If you find it difficult to maintain your peace and poise, do your best and you will grow in the ability to do so more and more effectively.

 

Now, as you become calm, and stop trying to please your child, your child will likely become increasingly frustrated with YOU.

 

Do your best to stay relaxed and at peace, and from peace you can find compassion.  You can calmly, quietly love your child as your child works out his frustration on his own over not being able to control YOU.

 

Some might think you have to yell at your child to “teach” him that he needs to relate with you in a more considerate and less demanding way, but this tactic blares with hypocrisy when you really look at it.  It models harshness as a means of teaching more gentleness!  It models demandingness in an attempt to teach the opposite.

 

Sometimes, by simply maintaining your calm and compassionate center and NOT straining to please, you allow LIFE to teach your child the lesson he or she needs.  That not only saves you effort and strain, it gives your child the chance to grow.

 

There’s a parenting solution for the demanding child.

Teach Your Child To Realize the Responsibilities of a Hero

By Marilyn Cramer   |  Monday, March 25th, 2013

A hero is somebody who is selfless, who is generous in spirit, who just tries to give back as much as possible and help people. A hero to me is someone who saves people and who really deeply cares.
~ Debi Mazar

A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom.
~ Bob Dylan

 

A hero always choses to do the right thing. He does not hesitate to help someone even in his difficult times.

A hero has faced it all: he need not be undefeated, but he must be undaunted.
~ Andrew Bernstein

A hero is a man who does what he can. ~ Romain Rolland

A hero is willing to work hard. He is brave. He is kind.

We all want to be a hero because we don’t want to let our feet stop with fear. The sense of being a hero gives us courage to fight fear not for ourselves but for others as well.

Parenting Tips – Fun Activities for Parents and Children

By Noah Brown   |  Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

“The deeds of the children are a testament to the upbringing they received from their parents.”

                                    ~ Christopher Paolini

 

In order to build a strong child parent relationship, parents and children need to spend time together having fun.

 

Bonding time makes parenting kids much easier because the children are more relaxed with their parents.

Parenting kids is easier if you let yourself have fun and enjoy spending time with them

 

 

Think back to your own childhood and decide which memories are the best ones. Were they the times that you were having fun with your family or were the times that you were being told to clean your room, lower your radio or do your homework?

 

The fondest memories are always of good times and your kids deserve to have great memories. It is more difficult for working parents to allot the time for fun activities with their kids but it is essential if they wish to create a lifelong bond with them.

 

Monthly Crafts

It’s a known fact that kids love to do crafts. They enjoy taking a variety of items and making them into pieces of art. It is a great technique to instill wisdom in children Also, parents and children can have a great time creating things for holidays and events. It also provides you ample opportunities to teach your child discipline while inspiring creativity in them.

 

You can create a special craft for every month. Whether you are making a collage of autumn leaves for Thanksgiving or a beautiful bouquet of crepe paper flowers, the time that you spend together will improve your parent child relationship.

 

Daily Play

“Children’s games are hardly games. Children are never more serious than when they play.”

                           ~ Montaigne

 

Give your child a healthy atmosphere at home.

Family is the first home and parents are first teachers of children.

 

Parents and children should find the time to play together daily. You don’t need to set aside a lot of time for play but fifteen minutes to an hour before or after dinner should be sufficient for weekdays. Play could be tossing the baseball back and forth, a game of checkers or simply thumb wrestling.

The activity really doesn’t matter so long as you interact. This will improve your parent child relationship. Working parents tend to tell their kids they are too tired to play but those parents need to wake up and realize that their children’s lives will pass them by if they don’t take the time to enjoy them now.

 

Weekly Game Night

Many parents and children enjoy playing board games together. Not only is this a good time to improve a parent child relationship but it can also be an educational activity. A lot of board games force the child to count, to read or make strategic decisions. These skills can help your child with his academic achievements too.

 

A child’s self-esteem can also be improved while playing board games with his family. Working parents should make the time to play games with their kids. They also need to shut off their cell phones and use the time to bond with their kids and work on the parent child relationship.

 

The Annual Family Vacation

All parents and children start looking forward to their next vacation as soon as they arrive home from the one they were just on. Let’s face it; people love their vacations. After working hard all year long, families should be excited to spend time together away from home.

 

Experiencing new places, people and things is fun for both parents and children. Leaving the day to day grind of work and school is refreshing and rejuvenating. The annual family vacation should be “in the works” at least six months before it actually happens.

 

You should select a few destinations that are within your budget and then hold a family meeting. At this meeting, both parents and children should state their opinions about each vacation spot and why they think that their choice is best.

 

Of course, the ultimate decision will be yours alone but it is nice to include the kids and take their opinions and ideas seriously. You very well might be surprised at the choices that they make for family vacation time.

 

Little Steps Go A Long Way

By Marilyn Cramer   |  Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

If parents pass enthusiasm along to their children, they will leave them an estate of incalculable value.
~Thomas Edison

Small steps add up to a big accomplishment.

Child learns from its surroundings.

 

 

We only have right NOW...the future hasn't come yet.

Free the child’s potential, and you will transform him into the world.
~ Maria Montessori

Powerful Parenting Success Principles

By Bob Lancer   |  Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

When we operate from the belief that our parenting success depends upon getting our child to do what we want, parenting becomes draining and frustrating.

 

Parenting children

Concentrate on doing the right thing when interacting with your child. Be the example you would want your child to follow.

While it SEEMS that our child’s resistance to our direction makes the child-parent relationship difficult, it is this underlying belief that is the true cause.

 

This belief fosters an attitude of parent helplessness and dependency upon the child.

 

In other words, it makes the child in charge and leaves us feeling powerless.

 

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you learned that your success and satisfaction in parenting depended only on your application of certain principles that  guarantee the positive results you are after?

 

The fact is that such principles do in fact exist, and those who experience the most satisfaction and success with their children, with the least wasted effort, conflict and stress, adhere to these principles in their child-parent relationship.

 

One great pleasure of relying on these principles is the feeling of independence.  You no longer feel dependent upon your child’s will or whim.

 

You don’t feel desperate to gain your child’s agreement.  You don’t worry about losing control of your child.

 

You don’t have to engage in straining power-struggles to force cooperation or compliance.

 

You know that you only have to focus on what YOU are doing, in the now, to perpetuate the progress you want to make.

 

So what are these powerful parenting success principles?

 

There are many.  The foundation principal on which the rest rely is simply the principle that states: Awareness Leads To Control.

 

To increase your success without stress with your children, make it your daily practice to refine your action’s alignment with awareness in the now.

 

In this context, the word “action” does not only apply to your physical actions.  It applies to your mental and emotional activity as well.  It applies to what you say, when you say it, and how you say it.  It applies to the activity of your attention or to what you choose to pay attention to in the now.

 

As you simply PRACTICE being more aware in the now, you will begin recognize more and more clearly ways that you can shift, change or refine your emotional responses, actions, speech and thoughts to more easily achieve what you want with your child.

 

Help Your Child Explore Her Innate Strengths

By Marilyn Cramer   |  Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

Parents need to fill a child’s bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes to drain it dry

~ Alvin Price

The love and support of the parents create champions.

Children need your continuous support to prosper and attain success.

 

Raising Kids – A Child’s Innocence Is Magical

By Marilyn Cramer   |  Wednesday, March 13th, 2013

“A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll
smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the
future worth living for.”
~ Anonymous

Raising Kids - A Child Innocence Is Magical

A child’s innocence brightens up a day!

 

Raising Kids - A Child Innocence Is Magical

A baby makes a house colorful and brighter with her innocence.

 

Raising Kids - A Child Innocence Is Magical

Children have that innocence about them that is so genuine and heart touching.

 

 

 

Give Wings To Your Child’s Creativity

By Marilyn Cramer   |  Friday, March 8th, 2013

“Every child is an artist, the problem is staying an artist when you grow up” – Pablo Picasso

Help your child pick right colors for your life

.“Creativity is contagious, pass it on” – Albert Einstein

 

Spending Time Together Betters Child Parent Relationships

By Marilyn Cramer   |  Friday, March 8th, 2013
Give your child a healthy atmosphere at home.

Family is the first home and parents are first teachers of children.

Spend some happy hours with your children. It will instill wisdom in children and make them good human beings.

You Can’t Buy Child Discipline

By Bob Lancer   |  Tuesday, March 5th, 2013

The News recently reported that a dad paid his 14 year-old daughter $200 to stay off Facebook for 5 months. But you can’t buy child discipline.
 
This “incentive plan” is of course reserved for those who can afford it. But it also sounds like a lot of money to pay a 14-year-old to follow reasonable, healthy and responsible house-rules.
 
Minimizing your child’s Internet social networking may actually decrease the risk of your child developing social difficulties, because unsupervised Internet social networking may impede the development of a child’s social skills.
 

Parenting Quotes On Discipline

If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~ Abigail Van Buren


 
While social networking, there is a tendency to relate with an excess of bravado behind the “shield” of a computer screen. This may not only produce social problems for the teen, it can form into a pattern of arrogance or even cruelty demonstrated in“real life”relating.
 
Excessive social networking may also cause real life relationship situations to feeling overwhelming and intimidating because there is so much more going on in face-to-face interactions.
 
Another social challenge may emerge when the teen realizes that the persona she has cultivated over the internet feels too threatening to express in real life.
 
Additionally, spending too much time lost in “internet land” can diminish motivation for more active, real life pursuits, become an escape from facing real life challenges, and develop a pattern of disengagement from one’s actual environment and from the sensitivities of the people in it.
 
So the question is, what is this dad’s motivation? Has his daughter been abusing her Facebook privilege in some way? Has she been spending more time on Facebook than he believes she should?
 
Has he discovered her engaging in inappropriate Internet conversation? Has she been failing to fulfill her responsibilities? Has her mood or attitude become problematic?
 
If he has reason to suspect that she needs to curtail the amount of time she spends on Facebook, then he needs to establish clear guidelines defining when and how much time she is permitted to be on Facebook, and define the quality of her Facebook conversation that is permissible.
 
Then he needs to define the responsible behaviors that she needs to demonstrate beyond her activity on Facebook.
 
He might say to her, “If your grades are great, if you are relating with your mom and me respectfully, if you are doing your homework, keeping your room neat and clean and helping out around the house, you can use Facebook within the parameters I’ve defined.”
 
To further protect his daughter from excessive “Facebooking”, he can establish clearly that he has unlimited access to her Internet activity.
 
This is not an expression of distrust or disrespect, but rather, it is really necessary to protect his teen against Internet bullying, Internet predators and the natural tendency of a young person to experiment with impropriety.
 
His decision to pay her, rather than to impose a caring and reasonable child discipline structure, suggests a possible personal pattern of throwing money at problems instead of really addressing them.
 
This would constitute a form of emotionally absent parenting that can drive children into high-risk behavior out of rebellion and poor self-esteem.
 
In sum,this dad’s financial solution may keep his daughter off Facebook for a few months, but it may reinforce even more serious child discipline problems in the process.
 
Inspirational Children Quotes

Parents who are afraid to put their foot down usually have children who step on their toes. ~ Chinese Proverb


 

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