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Successful Parenting Without Marital Stress

By Bob Lancer   |  Monday, April 15th, 2013

One of the most common parenting challenges brings strife into almost every home with children.

 

It occurs when parents clash in frustrating conflict over their difference in opinion regarding the parenting they want their children to receive.

 

Child Development With Parenting Wisdom

If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves. ~C.G. Jung

 

One parent regards peace and harmony in the household as sacrosanct. The other parent feels justified in disturbing the peace at home by getting very emotionally worked up and harshly complaining in reaction to unwanted child behaviors.

 

One parent believes in giving the child a clear explanation of the reasons behind the rules for child behavior. The other believes that offering explanations is a form of “cow-towing” that treats the child with too much respect.

 

One parent feels justified in angrily yelling at children. The other parent feels that yelling at children creates more household chaos, not more order.

 

Whatever your disagreements with your spouse about parenting your children, how you react to your spouse is where to focus your attention.

 

The instant that you begin feeling frustrated you are really fighting against yourself.

 

How your spouse behaves is beyond your control. (How your spouse behaves may temporarily be beyond your spouse’s control!)

 

You enter an emotionally straining power-struggle with your spouse because you believe that you need to control that person more than you actually can.

 

Angry clashing wastes energy. That’s why you feel so drained after a spat. Emotionally colliding with your mate over parenting your child means that you are misdirecting your energy.

 

When you feel blocked, you are pursuing a path that leads to opposition, not success.

 

Trust that what you can do without strife is enough.

 

Instead of fighting with your child or with your spouse over unwanted behavior, seek better ways of managing yourself in response to disturbing behavior.

 

Stop futilely struggling to improve the way that your spouse responds to the children and focus instead on improving the way that you respond to your spouse.

 

Look for non-combative ways to guide your children into more beautiful behavior and you’ll achieve more parenting success with less marital stress.

Give Wings To Your Child’s Creativity

By Marilyn Cramer   |  Friday, March 8th, 2013

“Every child is an artist, the problem is staying an artist when you grow up” – Pablo Picasso

Help your child pick right colors for your life

.“Creativity is contagious, pass it on” – Albert Einstein

 

The First Step To Improving Child Behavior

By Bob Lancer   |  Sunday, February 10th, 2013

What if you were achieving exactly the same level of cooperation from your children, but you achieved this level with 90% LESS stress, strain, frustration, overwhelm and anger?
 
For instance, what if you continued to get your kids to bed as late as that’s been happening, but you accomplished this WITHOUT feeling frustrated, unhappy or impatient?
 

Parenting Quotes

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. ~ Franklin P. Jones


 
What if your child’s behavior at mealtime did not improve, but you were able to maintain your peace and poise, able to feel calm, confident and secure?
 
What if your kids continued to squabble as much as they do, but you did not get drawn into feelings of anger, helplessness or overwhelm?
 
What if you did not improve your child’s cooperation during homework time, during the morning routine, or when you need to transition him from one location to another, BUT YOU MANAGED THE SITUATION WITHOUT FEELING NERVOUS, UPTIGHT OR ANNOYED?
 
Obviously, improving your EXPERIENCE of what happens represents SOME degree of improvement in your relationship with your child.
 
The fact is that improving THE QUALITY of our responses is the first step to improving our results.
 
How you react to child behavior is a way that you treat yourself in response to that behavior.
 
We can only improve child behavior one step at a time. The first step is improving our way of going through the condition.
 
Reducing our stress, increasing our confidence, bringing more joy from within into the experience is a step in the right direction.
 
From there, you will find opportunities for leading your child into improved behavior.
 
What is being suggested here is not an apathetic, passive approach to parenting. Do everything you can to ensure that your child behaves well. But the change that is being suggested here is to do it CALMLY, to work on doing your best to control the situation WITHOUT anger or stress.
 
This simple shift has worked miracles in many parent-child relationships. Try it out and let us know how it works for YOU.
 
Children Quotes

The Golden Rule of Parenting is; do unto your children as you wish your parents had done unto you! ~ Louise Hart


 

Raising Children During Divorce

By Noah Brown   |  Saturday, January 12th, 2013

Raising children is a tough job in and of itself, but when the parents are going through a divorce this important job seems to become even harder. The parents understand why they both need and want to live separate lives but it is very difficult for a child to understand.
 
Kids tend to blame themselves when their parents split up. They feel unstable and confused as well. Divorce is stressful for kids too. You can use this help for parents advice to ensure that you are being a parent who is truly caring for your child’s psyche throughout the divorce.
 
Honesty Is the Best Policy
 
To an extent, you should be very honest with your kids about the divorce. Of course, they do not need details ofa sordid affair or addiction problem. Honesty is important while inspiring children to learn positive values.

Raising Children During Divorce

Being a parent, you will need to make the changes as easy on your kids as possible


 
Being a parent, you will need to make the changes as easy on your kids as possible
 
The easiest way to explain the impending divorce is by telling the kids that you and your spouse simply cannot live together anymore. You always must make them understand that they had nothing to do with your marital problems. They need to know that you both love them now and will always love them.
 
Never tell them that you no longer love your spouse. This will make the children believe that you could stop loving them as well. This is never a good thing and could spoil child parent relationships.
 
Change Can Be Scary
 
Everyone who has been raising children understands that change can be quite difficult for some children. Many kids get stressed out moving to a new classroom for a higher grade level so the change resulting from a divorce can be overwhelming.
 
Being a parent, you will need to make the changes as easy on your kids as possible You should consult your pediatrician and inform him of the divorce and your concerns for its effect on your kids. He will be able to offer some great help for parents’ information that will make the divorce more understandable for your kids. It is possible that he recommends you to take your children to a parenting counselor.
 
Prevent Possible Problems
 
Kids who are dealing with divorce often begin to have problems in school. Quite a few articles offering help for parents going through a divorce advice believe that the child’s teacher should be informed of the family situation. This knowledge will allow the teacher to watch for and understand any abnormal behavior and avert problems.
 
Your child’s guidance counselor may also be able to offer some parenting help as he has certainly dealt with many kids who have gone through stressful divorces
 
No Badmouthing Allowed
 
Just because you are raising children during this trying time does not give you the right to talk badly about their other parent. This behavior simply adds more stress for the child and makes him feel like he is being pulled apart. Remember, he loves both of you and if you badmouth your former spouse, the child will always resent you.
 
Still Two Parents
 
Even during a divorce, both of you are obligated to fulfill your duties of being a parent. The task of raising children belongs to both mother and father. The custodial parent should never disallow the other parent opportunities to maintain a close relationship with each other.
 
Authorities on raising children during divorce state that parents who deny their children access to the other will eventually be alienated by the kids later in life. It is healthy for the kids to grow up with two parents, even if they live separate lives.

Conquering Toddler Fears

By Guest Author   |  Thursday, January 3rd, 2013
wisdom in children for overcoming fear

The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.
~ H. P. Lovecraft

If your normally easy-going child seems suddenly afraid of everything and clingy, you’re not alone.

 

As babies begin to transition from infant to toddler, fear blossoms almost as quickly as they seem to be growing.

While it may take you by surprise, the reality is that these fears, whether they’re concerns about the dark, monsters under the bed, or something completely rational, put your child on the normal track to development.

The key is learning how to deal with those fears. These tips may help.

Figure Out What May Be Causing the Fears

If you understand what is causing the fears, it’s possible you can help your child overcome them.

Think carefully about what’s going on in your toddler’s life at the moment. Is there a new teacher in his or her daycare? Has the routine changed significantly in recent days?

If there’s something that has created stress in your child’s life, that can lead to both rational and irrational fears.

Big events like falling in the water or even seeing a small fire in the kitchen could also create a very real sense of instability in your child’s life and lead to a variety of fears.

Acknowledge Your Child’s Feelings

The idea that there might be a monster under your child’s bed may seem nothing short of ridiculous to you, but to your child, it’s a serious source of concern.

Downplaying or ignoring your child’s fears could be damaging to his emotional development. Make certain you validate those feelings while still helping your child work to overcome them.

Reassurance is a Must

Once you understand exactly what your child is afraid of, you need to work to let them know that everything will be okay. Cuddle with your little one to help him feel a bit better.

Remember, also, that you shouldn’t just pay attention to your child when those fears come into play.

Stay interested in the happy moods too, or you risk making the fears bigger and more dramatic than they actually are.

Overreacting Only Makes Things Worse

Becoming overprotective of your child as a result of those fears can make things quite a bit worse.

You can’t simply let your child avoid all of the things that may worry him, but you also shouldn’t force him into every unfamiliar or uncomfortable situation. Work together to overcome the fear and offer support without hitting “Momzilla” mode.

Patience Is a Must

You may think up the single most creative solution in the world to your child’s problem, but it’s important to remember that his fears are completely normal, and they will fade at some point.

They just may not fade on your schedule. Don’t get frustrated with your child. Instead, be patient as he works to overcome his issues.

Children, and toddlers especially, are very good at taking cues from their parents.

The way you react to your own fears and concerns helps to guide their development.

 

Teaching confidence at every opportunity can help the two of you get past the fear stage.

 

Heather Nosworth is a writer with a passion for children and parenting. She regularly contributes to the Parenting & New Baby Advice Blog, where you can find more parenting articles along with unique baby gifts and gift ideas.

Parenting Can be Overwhelming

By Guest Author   |  Wednesday, December 19th, 2012

 

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by Aaran.

 

Parental Involvement

“Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.” ~ Michael Levine

If one makes a list of some of the most difficult jobs to do in the world, then parenting should definitely feature in that list probably at the top of the list.

 

Especially, managing children in the age group of 1 to 3 can be extremely difficult. It is a very delicate age group, and you need to handle children in that age group with the utmost care.

 

This is the age group where children start to learn things. They sometimes try to imitate parents and imbibe the characteristics of the parents. So you need to watch what you say or how you behave in front of your kids.

 

Single Parenting is Particularly Difficult

 

If you are a single parent, then your troubles will be compounded. There can be various reasons why you are a single parent. You may be a divorcee, and you get the custody of your child, or your spouse may have died, and you choose not to remarry, or you might have gotten pregnant either by choice or chance without opting to get married.

 

No matter what the reason is for being a single parent, the job is only going to get more and more difficult. One of the popular quotes on parenting that I found online comes to my mind. Here it goes – “A mother who is really a mother is never free.”

 

Expenses Can Significantly Increase

 

First of all, you need to make sure your job or business doesn’t get affected. The expenditure for children at a very young age will be significantly more than when they grow up.

 

Of course, there are going to be other expenses when they grow up, but when they are young, there will be many unnecessary expenses which are quite difficult to avoid.

 

Work Life May be Affected

 

You need to strike a proper balance between your work and parenting. Research has shown that parenthood can affect the productivity levels of employees in the office.

 

If you are a business owner, even then things would be affected since taking care of businesses, either small or large, requires more time and attention than normal jobs.
When you are away for work, you can’t take your children along with you. Some offices allow bringing your children to work since there are separate rooms in some offices for small children. However, not all offices have these facilities.

 

Even if you leave your children in those rooms, you won’t be able to concentrate on your work fully. You will be constantly going and checking on what the child is doing.

 

Also, only a small baby which is under a year old is suitable for taking with you to the office. Children above one year of age are usually very naughty and quite difficult to manage.

 

Nannies Are an Option

 

This leaves you with the option of hiring professional nannies to take care of your children at home when you are at work. It is true that hiring nannies can get quite expensive. But at least your child will be taken care of even in your absence.

 

An article by Aaran who loves reading inspirational quotes and photography. Find some of his favorite sayings about relationship at FinestQuotes.com

5 Tips to Get Your Kid To Sleep in Her Own Bed

By Noah Brown   |  Wednesday, December 12th, 2012

Sometimes, it becomes near-to-impossible task for the parents to convince their child to sleep in their own beds. Eventually the battle concludes with children sharing bedroom space with their parents.

According to the National Sleep Foundation (NSF), “as many as 24% of parents have their children sleep in their beds for at least part of the night.”

According to the National Sleep Foundation (NSF), “as many as 24% of parents have their children sleep in their beds for at least part of the night.”

While this child behavior invades the privacy of parents, it also leaves working couples restless and fatigued. Toddlers, preschoolers, or even school-goers across the world importune to sleep in their parents’ bedrooms.

 

Read more: http://marilyncramer1.livejournal.com/

 

 

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