Child behavior improvement often requires parent behavior improvement first.
When scolding your child, what are you telling him about himself?
Do you call him a lackadaisical dreamer, dishonest, responsible, lazy?
On a subconscious level the child believes what we tell him about himself and that programs him to live consistently with that belief.
Telling a child that sheâ€™s acting like a baby, that she is always looking for the easy way out, that she is content to do the least possible in school, that sheâ€™s a show-off gives that childâ€™s subconscious a negative message that undermines the childâ€™s ability.
Calling a child sloppy, telling him he never listens, complaining that he is being difficult, uncooperative, self-centered, overly demanding is like calling FOR more of that undesirable behavior.
When we become frustrated with our children it is really not their fault.Â We are coming to the end of our patience, but thatâ€™s no excuse for projecting negative influences upon them.
In parenting, we need to be present, to avoid focusing so much on making our children â€śrightâ€ť that we overlook how â€śwronglyâ€ť we are going about it.
When we parents catch ourselves in the act of projecting our own negativity onto the child, we can redirect our attention to ourselves, recognize any mistakes we are making, and begin correcting our own behavior then and there.
The next time you hear yourself complaining to your child, calling him stupid, unfocused, unreliable, unkind, thoughtless or â€śa downerâ€ť, focus on improving your own behavior in the present moment.
When you see how you are mishandling the situation you can begin handling the situation better, and produce better results.
Remain self-aware to recognize your need for improved SELF discipline in your efforts to get your child to be more disciplined.
Concentrate on improving your handling of your childâ€™s behavior and you will find yourself being more successful in your efforts to bring out better behavior from your child.
Really face the ways that you want to improve your responses to your child, your way of speaking with her, your way of attempting to correct, control and improve her character, attitude and actions.
As we honestly work on improving our ways of parenting, we raise our child more effectively and enjoy a happier, better behaving child AND adult.
Letâ€™s practice being more self-aware in our parenting to recognize when we need to improve our parent behavior for child behavior improvement.