Successful Parenting Without Marital Stress

By   |  April 15th, 2013

One of the most common parenting challenges brings strife into almost every home with children.

 

It occurs when parents clash in frustrating conflict over their difference in opinion regarding the parenting they want their children to receive.

 

Child Development With Parenting Wisdom

If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves. ~C.G. Jung

 

One parent regards peace and harmony in the household as sacrosanct. The other parent feels justified in disturbing the peace at home by getting very emotionally worked up and harshly complaining in reaction to unwanted child behaviors.

 

One parent believes in giving the child a clear explanation of the reasons behind the rules for child behavior. The other believes that offering explanations is a form of “cow-towing” that treats the child with too much respect.

 

One parent feels justified in angrily yelling at children. The other parent feels that yelling at children creates more household chaos, not more order.

 

Whatever your disagreements with your spouse about parenting your children, how you react to your spouse is where to focus your attention.

 

The instant that you begin feeling frustrated you are really fighting against yourself.

 

How your spouse behaves is beyond your control. (How your spouse behaves may temporarily be beyond your spouse’s control!)

 

You enter an emotionally straining power-struggle with your spouse because you believe that you need to control that person more than you actually can.

 

Angry clashing wastes energy. That’s why you feel so drained after a spat. Emotionally colliding with your mate over parenting your child means that you are misdirecting your energy.

 

When you feel blocked, you are pursuing a path that leads to opposition, not success.

 

Trust that what you can do without strife is enough.

 

Instead of fighting with your child or with your spouse over unwanted behavior, seek better ways of managing yourself in response to disturbing behavior.

 

Stop futilely struggling to improve the way that your spouse responds to the children and focus instead on improving the way that you respond to your spouse.

 

Look for non-combative ways to guide your children into more beautiful behavior and you’ll achieve more parenting success with less marital stress.

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About Author
Bob Lancer
Author, Seminar Leader, Motivational Speaker, Consultant and Host of the WSB Radio Show Bob Lancer's Answers, Bob Lancer focuses on the challenges of parenting, marriage and personal / professional development.

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