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Parenting Help: Improve Your Child’s Environment

By Bob Lancer   |  Monday, June 25th, 2012

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To improve child behavior, improve your child’s surroundings.

Good Parenting

Provide the child with influences that help the child display the positive child conduct you want

 

How a child behaves is a largely product of the child’s environment.

 

The child’s environment consists of the influences surrounding the child, including the influences emanating from people within that environment.

 

To help your child avoid or overcome behavior problems improve the emotional and behavior patterns impinging upon your child.

 

Parenting help for better child behavior generally involves working on the child’s environment in order to:

1… Avoid exposing the child to influences that contribute to behavior problems.

2… Provide the child with influences that help the child display the positive child conduct you want.

 

If all we focus on is getting the child to change WITHOUT changing the child’s environment, our efforts will be undermined by the disturbing environmental that led to the child’s behavior problem.

 

For instance, if your child withdraws from other kids, choosing to spend her time alone, that child may have received excessive criticism in her home environment, eroding her self-confidence.

 

Sometimes there is something happening at home that causes the child to feel ashamed.

 

There may be someone in the child’s home environment modeling a similar pattern of sensitivity that drives that person toward solitude and unsociability.

 

As long as the negative environmental factors remain unchanged, child discipline problems are likely to continue reflecting them.

 

In my own parent counseling practice I have often found that the parent help needed for improving how kids behave involves guiding parents in how to bring more order, calmness, attentiveness, positive modeling and love into the child’s environment.

 

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When It Is Wise To Ignore Your Child

By Bob Lancer   |  Saturday, June 23rd, 2012

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To skillfully support child development, remember that there is a time for responding to your child and a time for NOT responding.

support child development

One key for raising children toward self-reliance is the parenting practice of being just responsive enough

If we are not responsive enough, we lose parental control as our child grows frustrated.

 

This is because and a frustrated child (like a frustrated adult) cannot help but slip into some form of behavior problem.

We teach our children, and the education may prove negative, through the way that we respond to our kids.

 

Being too non-responsive not only frustrates the child with the sense of denied parent access. It teaches the child, through our modeling, to BE non-responsive. This may manifest as the child not “listening” and being generally inattentive.

 

But, while a sufficient amount of parental involvement is crucial for positive child development and child behavior, it is also possible to be TOO responsive with a child.

 

If we respond automatically to a child’s request (or demand) for our attention, assistance or cooperation we demonstrate a weak form of child behavior management that actually trains the child to be overly demanding.

 

We also needlessly exhaust ourselves through the form of excessive parent involvement that we can describe as being overly responsive.

 

Help for parents who over-stress themselves through excessive responsiveness arrives as they apply the self-help wisdom of being more conscious in parenting.

 

Sometimes it is better to not respond as a means of teaching the child that the behavior she is using to get our response is unacceptable.

 

One key for raising children toward self-reliance is the parenting practice of being just responsive enough.

 

Be aware during your parent-child interactions to avoid automatically reacting to your child without first pausing to determine if reacting in the way that you are about to react is really wise right now.

 

If you HABITUALLY respond when your child demands your attention, you produce your own frustration and lead your child toward the relationship problems that stem from being overly demanding.

 

Don’t blame your child for this.  Realize that your reactions of stress and strain are NOT your child’s responsibility.  How you react is YOUR responsibility.

 

Practice the parenting wisdom of more CONSCIOUS parenting to more alertly recognize when you need to respond, and when you need to deliberately NOT respond to your child, for the best parenting results and experiences.

 

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Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

 

Inspiring Mother Quotes

By Marilyn Cramer   |  Friday, April 27th, 2012
Mother Quotes

God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers

 

 

 

Positive Parenting Mother Quotes

A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.

 

 

 

Mother Quotes for Parenting Kids With Wisdom

"She’s my teacher, my adviser, my greatest inspiration." ~ Whitney Houston

Apply The Parenting Wisdom of Silence

By Bob Lancer   |  Friday, April 27th, 2012

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When it comes to parenting wisdom, no principle may be more important than how we speak to our children.

 

Child Behavior Challenge

Under the influence of a disturbed emotional reaction to a child behavior challenge, we are most likely to say something that negatively impacts child self-esteem, self-confidence and performance.

What we say to our children impacts them deeply.

 

When we feel frustrated with our kids, it’s best to practice the parent wisdom of silence.

 

Under the influence of a disturbed emotional reaction to a child behavior challenge, we are most likely to say something that negatively impacts child self-esteem, self-confidence and performance.

 

What we say to our children forms their mental programming.

 

Telling a child that he never listens, calling a child a slob, labeling your kid selfish or stubborn proves to be a form of self-defeating parenting.

 

Skills in the area of verbal communication help you empower your child.

 

When we feel frustrated our parent-child communication skills are compromised.

 

The next time that you are faced with a child discipline challenge, before you speak, imagine that your child will forever remember what you are about to say.

 

Parenting Wisdom And The Child Behavior Challenge

The next time that you are faced with a child discipline challenge, before you speak, imagine that your child will forever remember what you are about to say

Take a moment to calm down and think about the messages do you WANT your child to remember and live up to?

 

This morning, my 9 year old was making noise while his baby brother slept.

 

I felt like saying, “Why won’t you stop and think about how you are impacting your brother?  He needs his sleep and I don’t want to have to deal with a cranky baby right now! Don’t you care about anyone but yourself?!”

 

But instead of blurting out harsh words, I paused, recognizing I was feeling too upset to speak constructively with my child.

 

So I remained silent.

 

Immediately I realized that all I needed to do was to place my hands on his shoulders and lovingly lead him to a place where his volume would not disturb his brother’s sleep.

 

I’m glad I applied the parenting wisdom of silence to protect his sacred heart.

 

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

 

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

How To Raise A Wise Child

By Bob Lancer   |  Tuesday, April 17th, 2012

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Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

 

Follow Parenting Wisdom With Your Child

Wisdom guides mastery in all fields of endeavor, including parenting.

To follow parenting wisdom with your child means that you are connecting with your own positive, loving and intelligent intuitive inner guidance.

 

You need to be calm, emotionally balanced, and aware in the now for this to happen.

 

When parents begin feeling frustrated in their efforts to control their child, they break their internal connection with the inner wisdom that can guide them toward healthier, happier parenting success.

 

For instance, if you begin feeling annoyed when your child interrupts your work or demands your attention while you are on the phone, your stressful reaction prevents you from handling the situation as well as you can, from producing the results that you really want.

 

Every parent needs to MASTER the experience of being distracted, to stay sane, content, and constructive.

 

Wisdom guides mastery in all fields of endeavor, including parenting.

 

Wisdom is an inspired state of consciousness that nurtures the soul.

 

When you demonstrate parenting wisdom in your relationship with your child, your inner, harmonious, enlightened state radiates, reaching and nurturing your child’s inner life with those same qualities, producing a happier, more loving and wise child.

 

Parents who complain that their children are too wild would do well to consider this way of helping their children to be more wise.

 

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

 

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Parenting Kids Under Media Glare – A Challenge For Celebrity Parents

By Antara   |  Monday, April 2nd, 2012
Effective Parenting

All parents need to put in extra efforts to build a loving, trusting, friendly and supportive parent child relationship.

The speculations and media glare about Whitney Houston’s daughter Bobbi Kristina’s activities following her mother’s death is making headlines and setting the social media abuzz.

 

The sudden passing away of Houston, an iconic figure for hundreds of thousands music lovers across the globe, has pitch forked her daughter into the spotlight with newspersons and paparazzi tracking her every move. From Oprah Winfrey to leading lifestyle magazines and TV channels, Bobbi Kristina is the talk of the town.

 

Nothing surprising here. Being a celebrity kid isn’t easy and almost all star kids face incessant media attention. For celebrity parents, it becomes a big challenge to ensure that their kids develop healthy child behavior and the wisdom to handle the trappings of fame successfully.

 

There are two sides to the coin of having parents who are super busy celebrities. On the one side, you have a life of luxury, opulence and fame from the time you open your eyes.

 

On the other side, your parents are often away for long periods for work and the media is always at your feet, trailing you, clicking your pictures, selling them for thousands of dollars, speculating on everything you do…it’s a hard life too.

 

Besides, we hear often about celebrity kids trying hard to come to terms with the failed relationships of their parents, peer pressure,  resorting to drug abuse, getting mired in controversies and struggling to match up to public expectations. Behavior problems of kids of star parents get flashed in the media in no time, doubling the pressure on the children and their parents too.

 

Julia Roberts, in a recent interview, lucidly explained her worries about raising her children – seven-year-old twins Hazel and Finn and four-year-old Henry in the spotlight, saying that after she met Meryl Streep’s daughter Grace Gummer, she felt reassured that children do turn out fine.

 

ANI reported that the Daily Telegraph quoted Roberts as telling Vanity Fair magazine, “Grace comes up and goes, ‘Gosh, it’s so sweet seeing all your kids on the set. It reminds me of when I was little, and I would go see my mom at work.”

 

“I said, ‘How old were you when you realized your mom was Meryl Streep?’ She said, ‘I think I was probably nine when I put that all together’.

 

“I said, ‘Were you cool with it?’ She said, ‘Yeah, it was fine. There was no trauma.’ So that was hopeful,” Roberts added, the report said.

Wisdom For Parenting Kids

Positive parenting is to be with your children in their most impressionable formative years.

All parents need to put in extra efforts to build a loving, trusting, friendly and supportive parent child relationship. That is part of positive parenting.

 

For people who are in the limelight, parenting children in a healthy parent child relationship is all the more essential as even their personal and private lives make news – some factual, some speculative and some pure rumors. You cannot always hide your child away from the cameras.

 

But if you instill the wisdom in your kids to understand the life issues that are real and permanent and the trappings that are illusory and temporary and develop in your child the ability to differentiate between the two, the kids grow up to take all this attention, pressures and opulence in their stride.

 

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Solve Child Behavior Problems With Your Inner Parenting Expert

By Bob Lancer   |  Monday, March 12th, 2012

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Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

 

Raising Successful Kids

To raise successful kids, don’t worry about them… BELIEVE in them.

In your quest for great parenting resources, you need look no further than at your own mind.

 

Your own subconscious contains profound answers to your parenting questions.

 

You have a great parenting expert inside of you!

 

To access your own expert parenting advice remember this:

What you envision comes to pass.  This proves true in every area of life, including raising kids.

 

To raise successful kids, don’t worry about them… BELIEVE in them.

 

You will enjoy the results of better parenting by envisioning your child behaving beautifully rather than behaving terribly.

 

When you envision your child as calm, confident, caring and capable, your subconscious responds by guiding you from within, showing you what to do to help your child in line with bringing that wonderful child development outcome about.

 

When we worry about our child’s behavior or character, we mentally picture our child demonstrating behavior problems and character weaknesses in the future.

 

This negative mental vision of the child blocks our subconscious capacity to provide us with wise parenting help for positive child development.  As a consequence of this blockage, we feel powerless, anxious, and out of control in the parent-child relationship.

 

Child Development

You will enjoy the results of better parenting by envisioning your child behaving beautifully rather than behaving terribly.

To employ the power of positive vision for raising children to fulfill their great potential, apply the following positive parenting tip: mentally reverse your child’s behavior problem.

 

For instance, if your child displays too much physical aggression, envision your child calmly behaving in a caring, self-contained manner.

 

If your child displays severe emotional breakdowns on a routine basis, provide your child with behavior help by mentally picturing your child demonstrating terrific emotional balance and healthy self-control.

 

When we worry about our child’s behavior, we envision behavior problems and thus make it harder to raise responsible kids.

 

But to solve or avoid child behavior problems, envision the way you would expect your child to behave if you solved those problems.This is how to access the parenting wisdom of your inner parenting expert.

 

Please feel welcome to share your comments in this blog about this parenting advice, and any questions you have about using the power of mental vision to help your kids display beautiful behavior.

 

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

 

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

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The Wisdom of Positive Motivation

By Bob Lancer   |  Monday, December 5th, 2011

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Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Positive Motivation For Children

It really IS possible to lead a child, and to teach a child, in a loving, mutually pleasing manner

Using positive motivation with children often works best.

When a child does not behave as you expect, a disciplinary response is not always the answer.

Often, all the child needs is to feel a loving connection with you.

That loving connection makes the child feel happy and INSPIRES the child to cooperate with you.

When the child feels deeply pleased, the child feels inspired to please.

Using positive motivation with children maintains a loving, happy parent-child bond, and that represents the most fundamental demonstration of parental wisdom with kids.

It not only leads the child into higher performance, it also permits BOTH parent and child to more deeply enjoy the parent-child relationship.

It really IS possible to lead a child, and to teach a child, in a loving, mutually pleasing manner.

When we lose our patience, yell, nag, plead, argue or punish, we may be making parenting harder than it needs to be on ourselves and on our children.

Try this exercise.

Commit yourself to remaining calm, relaxed, pleasant and loving for an entire day, NO MATTER HOW YOUR CHILD BEHAVES.

In what instances do you use strictness or even anger to direct your child?  Try to think up more pleasant, loving, even happy ways that you can successfully function in those instances.

Contribute to other parents’ Wisdom with Kids by sharing the results of these two exercises in this blog.

Connecting in relaxed, loving, even fun ways with children inspires them to connect with US in pleasing ways.Using positive motivation with children does not mean bribing them with special rewards.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Happy Success Wisdom for Children

By Bob Lancer   |  Saturday, November 12th, 2011

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Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

wisdom and motivation for children

By calmly, patiently and perseveringly bringing your child back to the mess he left, and then guiding him to put his things where they belong, over and over and over again, WITHOUT fighting, your child gradually develops the habit of doing it on his own.

In the Wisie for Kids video, “Teach Your Children Patience”, the wisdom for children is really essential for the child’s learning, development and success.

The message is also great for adults to remember.

After all, isn’t patience a necessary part of all major accomplishments?

It’s even essential for remaining sane as we parents work on improving our child’s behavior.

For instance, to get your child to clean up after himself is usually NOT a quick process.

You need to remain patient, to “keep your cool” as you repeatedly guide your child to put her things away each time that she “forgets”.

If you lose your patience in the process, and react with annoyance and frustration, you actually motivate your child to be more resistant, and you make the process more of a strain than it needs to be.

By calmly, patiently and perseveringly bringing your child back to the mess he left, and then guiding him to put his things where they belong, over and over and over again, WITHOUT fighting, your child gradually develops the habit of doing it on his own.

At the same time, you model the wisdom for children of being patient with when you cannot instantly have your way.

What are some of the new or improved behaviors that you would like to motivate your child to do on his or her own?

While working with your child, when do you tend to lose your patience?

In this blog, share your thoughts and questions about how to
pass on the wisdom for children (and adults) that patience represents.

As this Wisie for Kids video reminds the child, “Don’t get angry, just keep working at it” – we parents need to remember this for happy success in improving child behavior.

As we model patience and perseverance in the way that we work with our children, we pass on that wisdom TO our children.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Little Steps

By Marilyn Cramer   |  Friday, November 4th, 2011

“I long to accomplish a great and noble task;

but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks

as if they were great and noble.”

 

~ Helen Keller

 

 

If you want to do something new

but are afraid to try,

then take little steps.

Those small steps

add up to a big accomplishment,

and anything is possible!

wisdom for children

Give importance to the little steps. They lead you to the bigger goals

Friendship

By Marilyn Cramer   |  Thursday, November 3rd, 2011

“Friendship isn’t a big thing –

it’s a million little things.”

 

~ Unknown

 

Friendship is a million little moments of joy and togetherness

of giving a warm hug

of lending a listening ear

of laughing and playing together

of sharing your favorite food and books

of being there for your friend!

Motivating kids

Friendship is inspiring. Friendship is loving. Friendship is togetherness. Friendship is giving

Motivate Your Child

By Marilyn Cramer   |  Thursday, November 3rd, 2011

“The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes,

but in liking what one does.”

 

~ James M. Barrie

The best part of childhood is that it allows you

the freedom to love and enjoy everything you do.

Let your kids enjoy learning as fun.

Motivate Your Child

Love everything you do. You will be amazed at how well you are able to do it.

Excellence

By Marilyn Cramer   |  Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011

“We are what we repeatedly do;

excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.”


 

~ Aristotle


Do everything you do with all your efforts and sincerity.

Get into the habit of excelling yourself.

You will love the experience.

Wisdom for Children

Do everything you do with all your efforts and sincerity.

Parenting Wisdom

By Bob Lancer   |  Friday, October 28th, 2011

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

mother quotes

Wise parenting, to me, means experiencing fulfillment and solving problems, not miserably reacting to my children in stress and strain

Be aware of the examples being set for your child is an essential piece of parenting advice.

Observe a toddler as he watches someone doing something, like bending down to touch the floor over and over.

Within moments, the toddler will mimic that behavior.

The way people behave around the child programs the child to behave similarly.

As you work on handling every aspect of your life more wisely, you lead your child along wisdom’s path.

Mother Quotes on Parenting Wisdom

  • “As I study life-wisdom sources, including wisdom classes, books, videos and CD’s, I find myself spiritually nurtured in a way that brings me peace.  I can then more easily bring greater peace into my parenting.”

  • “I want to be a wise mother, not just a “smart” mother. Too many highly educated mothers that I know are nervous wrecks with their children.  Wise parenting, to me, means experiencing fulfillment and solving problems, not miserably reacting to my children in stress and strain.”

How do you relate with the above two “mother quotes” about wisdom?

Do YOU have any parenting advice to share that pertains to preparing a child to lead a WISE life?

In this blog, share your thoughts and questions about wisdom and parenting.

The essence of wisdom is dedicating yourself to your ongoing personal development, for this is the foundation for improving your results and experiences in all areas of life, including parenting.

Parenting Advice: Wisdom is about aligning with the way life truly is. As you seek deeper understanding of the way life really is, you will be a better guide for your child.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Child Discipline And Higher Will

By Bob Lancer   |  Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

how to motivate your child

The parent needs to get in touch with what is best for the child, what the child needs to develop and demonstrate for a successful, happy life

Adults often think of child discipline as trying to get the child to heed the parent’s will.

But the real aim of child discipline should be about raising children to develop and heed their own HIGHER will.

It is THIS Will that we want to lead our children to recognize and follow, not our personal will.

Raising kids to do as they are told leaves them helpless when there is no one there telling them what to do, or when there is someone directing them to do something wrong.

Before reacting to child behavior, and before struggling for a child’s compliance, the parent needs to get in touch with what is best for the child, what the child needs to develop and demonstrate for a successful, happy life.  This is the foundation for real child discipline.

When it comes to raising your kids, what is your vision of success?  In other words, what are you trying to raise your child into?

How are you preparing your child to be able to make
good choices for himself or herself?

In this blog, share your thoughts and questions about
how to discipline children well?

The key to leading your child into connecting with his own higher will, which is rooted in true wisdom, model that behavior in your parenting.

Centering yourself in your own higher will means first centering yourself in peace, opening your mind and heart to what your child really needs from you to grow into the great person she can be.

Practice that the next time you engage with your child:  Discipline YOURSELF to connect with your own higher will.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

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